Voiceless.

Today I gave up my voice. I cannot say it was by choice. I still have a voice, but today I am voiceless.

Last night I accepted a campus-wide challenge to “Choose the Uncomfortable.” There were five options, each representing an oppressed people group. Fasting represents world hunger, a headdress and no personal statements represents women oppression, bound hands represent modern slavery, no shoes represents poverty, and not speaking represents the voiceless—those who are trafficked and children forced to be soldiers.

The past few days leading up to this challenge I thought about what “uncomfortable” challenge I would take for the 24-hour period. Not wearing shoes was my first choice because I love not wearing shoes! As the start of the challenge approached, my heart was tugged more and more. The name of this event was “Choose the Uncomfortable” and I was trying to take the easy road by doing something I already found comfortable.

I never even considered the idea of not talking for the time period. I came up with every excuse in the book to keep me far away from losing my voice for the day. “How could I be an RA and not talk?,” “What if one of the girls needs to talk?,” “I have other responsibilities that require my voice,” “I don’t need to do this one.”

As I stood at the table trying to decide what I was going to do, I felt a quick tug on my heart. Then some scary words came out of my mouth unexpectedly, “I will be voiceless.”

So the challenge began. No shoes. No voice.
 

I was shocked at how much I have been learning already.
 

First of all, taking the easy road is not the most rewarding; especially not if you want your rewards to be meaningful.

Not talking has taught me more than talking could have in certain areas of my life. God really just needed to shut me up long enough for me to be able to listen (and even then I found ways to be distracted from His voice).

I claim to use my voice for good things: encouraging others, praising God, giving advice, etc. However, I also realized that from that same voice comes a lot that does not please God: mocking, crude humor, insults, gossip, and sadly…the list continues. Maybe all that stuff I claim to please God with is really getting in the way of my relationship with God. Not only because it can be masked by the junk I speak, but also because I have gotten so caught up in talking about Jesus that I get “too busy” to speak with Jesus.

Today, as I fumbled around trying to find the right hand gestures to get my point across, I realized how patient those around me can be. As I got frustrated, some encouraged me to keep trying. In those moments, I realized that a good listener takes time to listen. I know it sounds like such an elementary lesson, but it sure hits hard when you can’t speak and yet you are still somehow heard.

Being heard was one of my biggest reality checks today. I am heard. Not always, but a good amount of the time someone may listen to a point that I have to make. How did I get blessed with that opportunity? So many people are ignored, rejected, and neglected on a regular basis. Their right to be heard is stripped from them unjustly—and most of the time they have a message more worthy of listeners than my own. This definitely puts into prospective the words we speak—are we saying things worthy of the privilege we have to be heard. I got my voice back tonight, but so many others do not have that freedom. Don’t let your words be wasted because someone else is fighting to get their words out…and heard.

One of my biggest frustrations and obstacles came from others around me. I had people throughout the day tell me that I was "doing it wrong" or "cheating" in the challenge. Not able to argue with them I began to just get annoyed. I thought to myself, "who do they think they are telling me how to do this challenge when they aren't experiencing what I am?!" As those thoughts circulated through my mind I realized a bit of how the oppressed feel. Most oppression comes from those who are not being oppressed in the same way. They may have their own obstacles, but so often we judge others based on our own perspective or idea of the way things should be. That isn't our job! The plank in my eye becomes pretty apparent as I think of all those I have ignored, turned down, or tried to plan a different life for based off of my personal preference. I need to let God do His job as the Righteous Judge!

God likes to show us who He is. Today, He showed me that He is working and moving—and He doesn’t need me in order to do it. He knows what He is doing. He wants us to join in on it. Let me say this again…The God of the Universe does not need you, but He loves you so much that He wants YOU! He doesn’t need us to do His work. We need Him to do His work. Join Him! The work He is doing is a blast! But I urge you not to let your words become an obstacle. We have the ability to talk the talk without actually getting our feet dirty by walking the walk. Don’t let your imitation of Jesus be displayed simply by shallow words—let it be an overflow of your heart.

 

I will leave you with this piece of wisdom that was said during the Evening Chapel that kicked off this incredible challenge,

“You are either going to be a part of the change, or you are going to just talk about the change.”