Half Full
This past week I finished out my second year of my Undergraduate career. Which means I am officially half way through college! Where did the time go? I'm not so sure. The past two years have been a wild ride. I started at William Jessup University expecting life to instantly change. I was in a new town with new people at a new school ready for a new me. This was my chance for an instantaneous fresh start. All my past mistakes and hardships were left behind as I only packed up my hopes and dreams for the future, right?
Wrong. My past challenges clung to the back of the car as we drove all 140 or so miles to my new life. They had no intention of letting go easily. I had to bring in some force. Boy, am I sure glad I did!
I found myself in complete surrender at the beginning of my freshman year. Ready for God to do something big. (Well, actually, I was only really ready for Him to do something easy, but I wanted to be ready for something big)!
Fast forward through all of the tears, work, fear, and feelings of defeat from the past two years and you get today! I ended up at my old high school campus yesterday (long story) and as I was walking around trying to find where I thought I needed to be, I began to think about who I was in high school. It was only two years ago, but it felt lifetimes away. High school me was not my favorite person, but I could barely recognize her anymore. It was in that moment that I could not be anything but grateful! A lot can happen in a short period of time when you open yourself up to God's movement in your life.
This simple truth was proven through this past school year. First semester was hard. And I'm not just talking about taking hard classes. In fact, the school portion of the year was the easy part! I came into the Fall semester hopeful for a year like my first at Jessup. However, all my expectations and hopes were destroyed that semester. Loneliness, disabling pain, unbearable hardship, depression, and darkness began to creep into that first semester. It was not the Jessup I felt safe at once before. Over Christmas break, I deeply considered the possibility of not going back. There was no way I was going to face another semester like the last one.
It took a LOT of prayer and wise counsel, but I went back for the Spring semester. After a car ride of finally breaking down and being completely vulnerable with my Creator, I began to feel peace. A peace that I could not understand, but the type of peace that you surely don't want to fight. I learned the value and importance of being open and honest with God. He blessed me in that moment of honesty and I began to allow Him to move in ways that were clearly beyond myself.
Spring semester was a complete switch! Relationships were built and strengthened. Darkness was replaced by the Light of the World. Joy became a tangible option. Hardships did not disappear, but they seemed possible to face now. Life was still life. It was hard, it was obnoxious, it required work. But something shifted within myself. I started to see my glass as half full once again--and that made all the difference.
Wrong. My past challenges clung to the back of the car as we drove all 140 or so miles to my new life. They had no intention of letting go easily. I had to bring in some force. Boy, am I sure glad I did!
I found myself in complete surrender at the beginning of my freshman year. Ready for God to do something big. (Well, actually, I was only really ready for Him to do something easy, but I wanted to be ready for something big)!
Fast forward through all of the tears, work, fear, and feelings of defeat from the past two years and you get today! I ended up at my old high school campus yesterday (long story) and as I was walking around trying to find where I thought I needed to be, I began to think about who I was in high school. It was only two years ago, but it felt lifetimes away. High school me was not my favorite person, but I could barely recognize her anymore. It was in that moment that I could not be anything but grateful! A lot can happen in a short period of time when you open yourself up to God's movement in your life.
This simple truth was proven through this past school year. First semester was hard. And I'm not just talking about taking hard classes. In fact, the school portion of the year was the easy part! I came into the Fall semester hopeful for a year like my first at Jessup. However, all my expectations and hopes were destroyed that semester. Loneliness, disabling pain, unbearable hardship, depression, and darkness began to creep into that first semester. It was not the Jessup I felt safe at once before. Over Christmas break, I deeply considered the possibility of not going back. There was no way I was going to face another semester like the last one.
It took a LOT of prayer and wise counsel, but I went back for the Spring semester. After a car ride of finally breaking down and being completely vulnerable with my Creator, I began to feel peace. A peace that I could not understand, but the type of peace that you surely don't want to fight. I learned the value and importance of being open and honest with God. He blessed me in that moment of honesty and I began to allow Him to move in ways that were clearly beyond myself.
Spring semester was a complete switch! Relationships were built and strengthened. Darkness was replaced by the Light of the World. Joy became a tangible option. Hardships did not disappear, but they seemed possible to face now. Life was still life. It was hard, it was obnoxious, it required work. But something shifted within myself. I started to see my glass as half full once again--and that made all the difference.
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